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Whom Do You Need To Forgive?

There isn’t a person in the world who hasn’t been hurt by someone, unless of course you’ve lived on a private island or as a hermit your entire life! What have you done with that hurt? Carried it around with you for years? Wallowed as often as you could in self-pity? Cursed the other person every time you thought about him or her? Told everyone who would listen that he or she was an evil person? And where have any of these actions gotten you?

Carrying around resentment about someone who has hurt you is like taking poison, hoping that the other person will die. It doesn’t only hurt you mentally – it can also hurt you physically. Forgiveness can change all that.

Religious leaders have long believed in the spiritual benefits of forgiveness. Alexander Pope is often quoted, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Since we can often be in the wrong ourselves, we need to start by forgiving ourselves. Maybe is has to do with some big hurt you’ve inflicted on someone; maybe it’s not the big. Either way, if it nags at you, you need to forgive yourself. Not forgiving yourself is as toxic as not forgiving another person.

What are some of the health benefits of forgiveness? Forgiveness reduces…

• Anxiety and stress, which helps keep your heart healthier
• Feelings of depression
• Anger and aggressive behavior
• Blood pressure and improves heart rate
• Risk of drug and alcohol abuse
• Chronic pain symptoms
• Control that the other person has over your thoughts and actions

In addition, forgiveness helps you to have better and more loving relationships with others and it improves your spiritual and psychological health.

Given all these benefits, can you see how holding onto grudges seems to affect you more than the person you need to forgive! Remember, sometimes it’s best to forgive in meditation or through letter writing (and later burning or shredding the letter) because approaching the person could put you in harm’s way.  

Just remember, forgiveness can change your outlook on life and give you a peace you’ve not yet experienced – a peace that penetrates your heart and soul, removing bitterness, resentment, anger and pain so you can live a life of freedom and joy.